ADHD and Your Self Esteem
October 27, 2008
Many of my clients are successful public speakers, entrepreneurs, and CEO’s, and yet many have the feeling that at any moment they will be “found out”.
My work with adults with ADD and ADHD includes looking at and trying to correct old messages implanted by unaware parents and teachers – you know, the “You’re lazy”, “You’re unmotivated and will never amount to anything”, “How stupid can one person be?” messages.
Sam, a very active, extremely bright and super busy CEO I work with, owns his own company, and even with the current economic mess, has a net worth in the double digit millions—all self-made. He also owns a self-concept badly in need of repair. As a boy and adolescent he was told he would never succeed, that he was stupid, couldn’t learn, was undisciplined and wouldn’t even make it to his own funeral. On some bad days, he feels just like that boy/adolescent again as those old messages come swimming back into his head.
Sam got sick of beating himself up based on other peoples’ messages and finally made time to slow down and try to understand himself better. (I know, slow down sounds dreadful, but don’t worry, I have plenty of things to fiddle with in my office and I’m not opposed to taking a walk if needed). Sam and I are working to update his self-esteem file to have a more realistic picture of himself. In just three meetings, Sam has begun to recognize times he’s putting himself down and can sometimes stop, get current and remind himself of the countless strengths and talents he has.
Don’t hesitate to contact a therapist or coach if you are an adult who suspects you have attention deficit disorder, with or without hyperactivity. Your peace of mind is worth it.
ADD Coaching:Focusing On A New Habit
October 20, 2008
My ADD coaching clients find that developing new habits isn’t a snap. Our biological systems are designed to favor efficiency and consciously instituting a new habit isn’t as efficient as repeating an established one.
I personally have been trying to develop a new habit when I race my small sailboat, a Laser. I forget to check exactly where the wind is blowing from at any given minute. During a race the wind direction can shift back and forth and if you react to that shift you can gain more on an unobservant competitor than by any other means.
But it’s hard to remember to check the wind when you’re trying to trim your sails, balance the boat and watch out for other boats. The starting place for me was a fairly rigid rule – every time I glance at the wind vane I would also compare where I was steering to something on shore to check whether there has been a shift.
Rigid rules feel constraining and tickle my resistance, but I know that if I bear with them for a while a more natural, less rigid process will begin to emerge – I will develop a new habit that flexes with the changing situation and eventually that habit will become the efficient, unconsciously one.
Welcome to Integrated Care for ADHD
October 18, 2008
Welcome to our blog! We are a multidisciplinary team of practitioners dedicated to improving care for those with ADHD. It is our strong belief that the most successful approach takes a team - ADD coaches, therapists, school counselors, doctors, educators - providing both medication and non-medication interventions rather than a one-size-fits all model. That’s us. Theresa Cerulli, Neuropsychiatrist, Jay Livingston – Adult ADD coach, Rory Stern – Child ADD Coach, Szifra Birke – Individual and family counselor, and Rebecca Shafir – Speech and Language Pathologist, Neurofeedback and Biofeedback specialist. Moving forward we will be blogging regularly to keep you informed of all the latest and greatest in our field. Please know we welcome your feedback, questions, ideas, and input.
I would like to share a bit of my personal history that drives my commitment to ADHD. I am a neuropsychiatrist by training who became interested in ADHD dating back 10 years ago. As one of life’s coincindences, I am now married to a husband with ADD and have the wonderful perspective of specializing in this field, while still feeling a sense of helplessness at times regarding how to manage it in my own home. The additional irony besides being an ADD “expert” married to an ADD husband, is that my husband works in sales in the all natural organics industry. Put “All natural” and “psychopharmacological” together in one sentence and you have just vizualized our household. Organic ritalin anyone?
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