// BLOG
Choosing a Coach for Adults with ADHD
January 7, 2012
If you have ADHD or similar brain wiring, then in order to get the most out of your coaching experience you will need a coach who is experienced working with individuals with ADHD and understands the challenges you face. What specifically would I suggest you look for?
• Your coach needs to help you continually return your focus to the work throughout a coaching session. Perhaps you will also need shorter sessions. If this feels inconvenient to a coach, they shouldn’t be working with clients with ADHD.
• Chances are that you may fidget and squirm if you try to sit still for an hour. It’s not very helpful to fight it; save your mental energy for better things. Look for a coach who isn’t distracted by it. Taking a walk during your session may help – are they ok with that?
• You will need and want to work towards getting to your appointments on time. If your coach feels upset by your lateness or takes it personally, understand that that’s their issue.
• Trying to do tasks alone at home or work may not be a tactic that works well for you. Be sure your coach is flexible and will adjust their “normal” process to make things work for you. If projects take longer than is usual with their other clients, that’s a fact of life that they must be comfortable with.
• I’d be surprised if you haven’t gotten into a life-long habit of “adjusting the truth” to sidestep criticism. This is very common for individuals with ADHD. A coach has to understand this, help you take the time to give the most truthful answer and never take it personally.
• It is typical to forget, get distracted, go off on tangents, to get caught by an interesting idea or get bored. When your neurobiology is a certain way, you need to have coaching that doesn’t ignore the facts.
It may not be obvious whether a coach has the experience and understanding you want until you’ve worked with them for a while. But these “issues” are an everyday part of life for many people with ADHD and your coach must not only accept these behaviors as a typical starting point, but must patiently address them as fundamental aspects of your work together.
Jay Livingston can be reached at LivingstonServices.com. Just use Jay@
Self-Control Can be Learned
December 7, 2011
Self-control is a predictor of success. Research shows that children who learn to control their impulses do better in school, college, work and relationships. But adults who never perfected their self-control can make significant and life-changing improvements with a few simple techniques and
practice. Picture this:
You’re ready to head for bed, emotionally and physically wound down. Just a few simple routines to complete and you can drift into the mysterious state called sleep – check the doors, turn off the lights, brush, floss and settle into the embrace of your bed and sleep.
As you shuffle through the kitchen one last time, the image of a bowl of ice cream snaps into your mind. Wouldn’t the creamy, sweet, cold taste of a small bowl of chocolate be delightful? If
you slow your steps, you’ll likely open the drawer for the ice cream scoop.
It is possible to learn to resist at will. Try picturing something else. Focus on images of your bed or an experience you had of stepping on a scale that stopped short of where it previously was. Too hard? Picture a great play from the last game you watched or some other really good experience. Just know that if you stare at the freezer, you are more likely to indulge.
Have you had the experience of walking away from temptation and having the image weaken and lose its urgency? Try it as an experiment; walk away and see what happens over the next few minutes. Focus on paying attention to your reactions and the process of learning instead of the treat.
Controlling your impulses can be learned, whether it’s to stop putting junk food in your mouth or quieting your frustration with yourself, employees, colleagues or clients. Maybe you’ll never find it easy, always have to push to keep your focus, even fall off track sometimes when you’re
tired, but you can develop improved strength and technique with desire and practice.
Eight Quick Hints:
- Use distractions to pull your attention away from temptations
- Don’t re-evaluate previous decisions when you’re under the influence of temptations
- Develop an unbending pattern of behavior until you’re past thinking about a temptation
- Understand that developing will power (self-control) is a process of learning and practice
- Dump the old notion that your abilities or attitudes are set – they aren’t, you can learn new ways
- Notice, celebrate and savor small bits of progress
- Have a support person or group who you feel accountable to – who bolsters your self-control
- Live for the changes that you’re working on and practice them into being
Multiple past failures to grow your self-control simply mean you haven’t yet found the right approach. It’s discouraging, but learning is often a process of gaining knowledge from failures until you start getting a hint of which directions are successful. Try getting a new perspective (a coach’s
point of view) and more emotional support. Remind yourself, “With practice I can learn this.”
Want a more complete primer on how to improve self-control and self-discipline? I help people develop new habits and behaviors; it’s what I’ve been doing for over 30 years. Change takes practice and support, but the actual process is simple.
Jay Livingston
ADHD Med Research Shows No Heart Risk
November 21, 2011
There has been much controversy over the years about ADHD medications and potential cardiovascular risks. So the FDA and the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality funded a large study on ADHD and potential cardiovascular side effects in both children and adults to examine the evidence. The good news is “This large study showed no evidence that current use of an ADHD drug was associated with an increased risk of serious cardiovascular events” as per the published results in the New England Journal of Medicine, November 17th, 2011 print edition.
The study period was from 1986-2005 and included data from over 1.2 million children and young adults. No increased risk was found for those patients taking ADHD medications. In fact the heart risks for current users of ADHD medications were slightly lower than the risk for non-medication users or for those who had taken medication previously.
Bottom line is that the risk of cardiovascular problems exists at the same rate whether you take ADHD medications or not. If you or your child are considering treatment, this large government funded ADHD medication study can hopefully put your mind at ease that the risks, at least for heart side effects or stroke, are minimal.
See NEJM.ORG for the online article (10.1056/NEJMoa1110212) published Nov 1st, 2011.
Don’t Miss the Virtual AD/HD Conference!
September 24, 2011
Dear Clients and Colleagues,
I’m emailing to tell you about a wonderful opportunity – the 4th Annual Virtual AD/HD Conference® coming soon on Oct 3 – 6. I’ll be presenting at this year’s conference, along with 22 other AD/HD experts including Drs. Daniel Amen, Ned Hallowell, and Patricia Quinn. Learn more at http://addmanagement.com/affiliate.html?w=vac&p=cerulli
The Virtual AD/HD Conference is a unique event that brings together the top experts in AD/HD. Join an international community of people affected by AD/HD, including adults, parents, spouses/partners, doctors, therapists, advocates, coaches, counselors, and many more. Rather than the time and expense of attending a physical conference, the Virtual AD/HD Conference brings the experts to you!
You can learn more about the conference, review the full conference agenda, and read testimonials from people who have attended here: http://addmanagement.com/affiliate.html?w=vac&p=cerulli
5 reasons why I recommend the Virtual AD/HD Conference:
1. You’ll access the top AD/HD experts from the comfort of your own home or office.
2. You’ll get the latest information and strategies on the most important topics in AD/HD. The conference topics cover everything from children to adults, from parenting to marriage, and from alternative treatments to medication management.
3. You’ll connect with a supportive group of your peers. The conference is attended by hundreds of people who understand the challenges of AD/HD.
4. You’ll participate at your own pace. You can choose to attend the sessions live via phone or Internet, or you can download the presentations later. The presentations and materials are available online for 3 months after the close of the conference.
5. You’ll skip the costs and hassles of traveling to a conference. The Virtual AD/HD Conference is cost efficient because it removes the need for hotels, airports, babysitters, and expensive restaurants.
The Virtual AD/HD Conference takes place October 3-6. I think the conference is a great opportunity to connect with your peers and get all the tools you need to succeed from the top experts in the world of AD/HD. I hope you’ll consider joining us!
Once again, you can learn more about the conference, review the full agenda, and read testimonials from people who have attended here: http://addmanagement.com/affiliate.html?w=vac&p=cerulli
The Virtual AD/HD Conference promises to be a value packed 4-day event. Hope to “see” you there!
Warm Regards,
Theresa Cerulli, M.D.
Time-Issues for People with ADD/ADHD
May 24, 2011
Great 4 minute video of Dr. Russell Barkley (a very well known and well respected ADHD researcher) talking about ADD as a “performance” disorder. One salient quote, “…Person with this disorder cannot organize to the delayed future but only to imminent future.” I think this video is really worth your time. Hopefully, you can feel less alone and people in your life may have a better understanding.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF1YRE8ff1g
Szifra
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